Nothing beats the sea air. It calms me. Grounds me. Makes me feel alive for the right reason.
I dive into the sea and the water splashes up my nostrils. I want to swim to the horizon. To be swept away by the current and live out my days floating in the sun.
How could they? How could he?
I always suspected but I never truly imagined. Not now. Now that we've been closer than ever. Jared had held me all night. In only hours he'd ripped my heart out. Rae had stomped all over it.
I spot a familiar face on the beach. It's damon, Arin's roomate. He sees me too and waves.
"Damon!" I shout over the sound of the shore.
"Hi!" he calls back.
I head towards him, he looks nervous.
"Hey," I say.
"Hey yourself. I saw you in there," he says pointing to the sea. "From up on the pier."
"I'm just cooling off," I tell him.
He's kind of bouncy, hopping from one foot to the other.
"Listen, the other night," he starts. "I never realised how...erm....pretty you are."
Oh no. My cheeks blush. This is not the right time to be telling me this, but I don't stop him from speaking.
"I really want to ask you out sometime," he finishes.
I laugh. "Well, i'm out now," is all I can think of to say. "Come swim?"
He looks at the water and rubs the back of his neck with his hand.
"Ugh, I'd love to but..."
"Come on, don't be boring. You can swim in your pants," I say.
He looks down at his feet. Shrugs.
"I'm kinda scared of water," he tells me.
"Oh."
We spend the next few hours sitting on the sand, talking, laughing. I like him. But I love Jared and it's a hard job pushing my thoughts of him to the back of my mind.
After some persuading I manage to coach him into the water.
"See, it's not so bad," I tell him.
The sun sets behind us. The sky is a beautiful array of color and in the light of the rising moon, Damon's face glistens.
"You're kinda cute," I say.
"I am?"
Such a lack of confidence for such a decent guy.
He leans in, kisses me lightly on the lips. I pull back, thinking of Jared. Thinking of how different Damon's lips feel from his.
But I lean in for more, this time kissing him as if my life depends on it. Damon wraps his arms around my waist. The water swishes around our legs, his jeans becoming soaked.
Something inside me sparks and for a moment, there's just me and this guy all alone in the world. For a moment, life feels good
"Damon, I have to go," I tell him as it gets darker.
"I'll see you soon?" he asks.
Maybe he will.
I'm half way home when I hear the familiar sound of the siren.
Shit. Not again!
I start thumping my feet into the pavement, running as fast as I can. I won't be caught today. No way. I'm not ending the day being chauffeured home in a copper's car.
I make it home but when I get inside it's so quiet.
RAE: "Where are you going?"
JARED: "I think Robyn just got home."
RAE: "So? You're with me now."
JARED: "So? So I'm still in charge around here."
There's a knock at my door. I open it and Jared stands there. He looks as gorgeous as ever and my heart actually skips a beat.
"Jared," I say.
"Let me come in," he says. He pushes forward and wraps his arms around me. I automatically wrap my arms around him until I remember how much I hate him right now.
"What are you doing?" I ask him.
"I think I made a mistake," he says.
"You think? You think you made a mistake? You should know, Jared. You should know you made a God damn mistake."
I swat him away from me and head out of the house.
He grabs me on the front lawn and tries to drag me back inside but I smack him across the face.
"Get away from me. You've hurt me for the last time!" I yell at him.
I run down the street, Jared yelling at me from behind. I dash down the next street and then the next until I'm at my friend Jackie's house. I ring the door bell, but nobody answers. Jared runs past the house and I hide in the shadows.
When he's out of sight I head back to the beach. I pull a beach lounger under the pier and curl up onto it. I pull my knees to my chest, the chill in the air much colder now it's night time.
The next morning I wake to the sound of seagulls squawking for food.
I can't believe I actually slept at the beach. I need to get home. Miss Lotts is back this morning.
As I'm heading back, I bump into Arin. I carry on walking. Then I turn around. I head back towards him.
"Hey, so err. You should know," I say. "Rae misses you."
He laughs.
"I know," he replies.
"You should come see her sometime. Give her another chance," I suggest.
If Arin was back in the picture, Jared would be a distant memory for Rae.
"Maybe," he says. And then he walks off.
When I get home, Miss Lotts is in my bedroom.
"Hey, you're home!" I say. "How was your vacation?"
"Where have you been all night, Robyn. The girls told me you never came home last night. Is that right?"
I sit on the edge of my bed and think fast on the spot.
"They're lying, Miss Lotts," I say. "I got home late from a school project and left early this morning to finish up," I tell her.
"Very well," she says, glancing around my bedoom suspiciously.
She leaves the room and I quickly shower and change. I brush out my hair and spend hours straightening it, staring at my reflection like a zombie. Staring at my eyes and my nose and my lips, wondering if I'm as pretty as Rae.
The pain is too much. My insides clench.
I can't go on like this.
Later that night, there's an odd atmosphere in the house. I decide to show Jared I don't care. I put on my music and dance around the house. He sits at the table whilst Rae does her homework and I know he's watching me out of the corner of his eye.
"Turn that crap down," Rae yells at me.
I turn it up.
"Jesus, Robyn. I'm studying here!"
"So study in your bedroom then," I tell her.
Jared turns the music down but I turn it back up.
There's a knock at the door.
Ellie answers.
ELLIE: "Loverboy is here."
RAE: "Who?"
ELLIE: "Oh I forgot, there's two of them. I was trying to tell Robyn about you and Jared by the way. But I couldn't bring myself to say it. But knowing she walked in on you, I hate myself for letting that happen. You're a bitch, Rae. A fat horrible bitch."
RAE: "Me? I'm not the bitch, Ellie! Robyn has been after my boyfriends since I came to this god damn house. She only liked Jared because I told her ages ago I had a crush on him!"
ELLIE: "Neither of you should be crushing on him. He's an adult for crying out loud. He should be arrested!"
I chat with Arin for a while, whilst Ellie goes off to fetch Rae. He wants to see her. God knows why, but I'm pleased he does. Jared stands with us, clearly bothered by the fact Rae's ex boyfriend is here.
"So, there a party tonight, if you guys fancy coming," he says.
"I'd love to," I say without giving it a second thought. It's better than moping around at home, afterall.
Rae and Ellie come storming into the community living room, Ellie in nothing more than her underwear.
"I'll kill you, you cow!" Rae shouts at her. Then she slaps her and Arin, Jared and I stand there mouths gaping.
"Alright you two!" Miss Lotts shouts from the kitchen. "Break it up."
"I have something to tell you," Ellie says to Miss Lotts.
She can't tell her! She just can't. I don't mean to protect him but I can't help it. I don't want him to go.
"Ellie, later, alright! Get dressed, we have to go," I say quickly.
Ellie looks at me, nods and does as I say. She understands. She won't say anything. Not today, anyway.
The party is packed and Rae is busy chatting with Arin. Ellie is with her boyfriend and Jared stands quietly out on the porch.
I can't bear to see him there looking so hot.
I head outside and up onto the second floor of the Youth Bar.
The breeze caresses my face and I breath in the salty air.
"I was looking for you," Jared says from behind me.
I turn to face him.
"Rae's too busy for you now, is she?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"I don't care what Rae's doing," he replies.
"Whatever," I say.
He walks closer towards me. I don't want to hear what he has to say but I'm putty in his hands. I want to forget what happened with Rae and be back to normal.
"Let's go home. Miss Lotts is at the theatre tonight. We'll have the place to ourselves," he whispers.
Why I agreed, I'm not sure. But I placed my hand in his and we left the party early. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other, even before we made it into the house. He slammed me against the front door, his lips not leaving mine for a second. I gasped for air whilst he fiddled around in his pocket for the house key.
We tumbled inside and he led me straight to his room.
I'd never wanted him more in my life.
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